Jun 4, 2014

13 things I learn as a twenties

Inspired by the many many “ 10/20/30 things I learnt ____________________” webpages I’ve read, this is my humble rendition of wisdom nuggets I wish I had known 10 years earlier.


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Every day and every year, I grow older, uglier and weaker (we all die yea? Lol) but if there’s anything I fear about aging, it would be to grow old but not grow any wiser. What kind of life would I have lived if I don’t go through situations and learn from the struggles? Anyway, these are just some stuffs I put together. Not any life mandates and you don’t have to agree with me, I am after all, just a little nobody xD


1) Parents are the most important people in your life.

No one else can replace them nor their eternal love for their children. Despite the difference in their disciplining methods, parents love their children from the bottom of their heart and it is love far above romance. It is love that comes with responsibilities and a lifetime of attachment that I would never have understood if my baby nephews didn’t born into our family.

2) Parents are only humans too.

They don't always make the right choices and more often than not, we might disagree with their way of disciplining. But learning to see things from their perspective and understanding that they are trying their best to reach out to their children , will give you a fresh perspective. Then you will understand how it’s one hell of an unappreciated job being a Mum/Dad.


Parents-true-lovealways love your parents


3) Boys(or girls if you're a guy) can be assholes.

There will be plenty of people from the opposite gender that doesn't think you are worthy of their time. You know what? They aren't worth yours either. There are more than 7 billion people on earth and if we divide them in half according to gender, that means you have more than 3 billion other people to meet. 


Portrait of a boy with the map of the world painted on his face.


4) Living as someone else is difficult.

What they say about “being yourself because everyone is taken” is true. You will never succeed if you only chase after the shadow of someone else. While imitation is indeed the highest form of flattery and quickest way to success ; reinventing yourself into something you are COMFORTABLE with is the only lasting thing.


5) Sleep is important.

Lack of sleep kills brain cells, scientifically proven alright?




6) Emotions are fleeting, don't let it dictate your life.

Too often the emotions that can sway our lives are the vindictive and destructive ones and if we live solely by how good it makes us feel, we usually end up stepping on everyone’s toes and before you know it, you find yourself all alone and disliked. Instead of emotions, we should let good moral values, character and discipline dictate our lives. While I don’t encourage changing yourself to fit in, I think nobody is perfect and we should constantly learn to adapt to our environment and morph into a better person.


Morphing In After Effects 
photo credit: http://library.creativecow.net/articles/zwar_chris/morph.php


7) People will forever disappoint you. Don't put your expectation and hopes solely onto one person or one area. Much like the basic of investments,  always spread the eggs out in different basket. While having a standard group/clique to hang out with is fun, don't restrict yourself from making new friends. Because you never know, your usual 'pals' might be the first to disown you in your times of need or when someone new appears.


8) Having hope, zeal and love is good because Emo shit is not cool at all.

When I was a teenager, much like most Asians teenagers, I find myself angry and frustrated with the world all the time. Granted many of the things I was upset about might valid reasons then but did my anger and angst make the situation/problem/my life any better? No.

And standing at where I am now, I look back and realise how much fun, laughter, good memories and good people I have missed with my stubbornly pessimistic attitude.

So cheer up! Be happy ! Smile! Because like what Aiba Masaki (from popular Japanese boy group; ARASHI)  said Instead of smiling because things are enjoyable, I believe that if you smile enjoyable things will come to you”


Photo credit: http://rideonfirestormamnos.blogspot.sg/2013/10/it-is-always-daunting-task-to-choose.html



9) Being yourself is overrated .

All about me me me me me me and me is overrated and selfish. I’m not saying you should be someone else because that directly conflicts with point 4 above. What I really meant was that to simply expect the world to accept you as who you are based on how you decided to define yourself as “Me” is usually just settling for the easy way out and self deluding. Yes, I’mt talking about people who goes “I’m sorry but that’s just who I am” after dishing out an asshole comment.


Photo credit: keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk


10) Being kind never fails.

That is the only present absolutely anyone can give and will have lasting impact on someone else’s life.  Don't be hard on others because you can get away with it. What u did to others will come back and bite u in the butt and make you feel pangs of regret. And when it comes, it will come out of the blue, in your darkest moments and catch you by a thread of surprise.

However, execute discernment and wisdom on who you spend your kindness on. Some people just drains too much away from you.





11) Don't bear other people's burden on your shoulder

unless they are very very special to you. There will forever be things, events and people that will need sympathy. While it's good to empathize and help, it's not good to sink yourself into it so much that your own life gets disturbed. Learning to give up and distancing yourself at the right time is essential. I'm not asking you to be selfish and ignore the cry for help from others but learn not to take it upon yourself to save everyone. Don’t be a One man crusade. Sometimes some people need to save themselves. Sometimes some people just need someone else to save them instead of you.


12) Beauty is really just skin deep.

When I was young, I always thought that if I could get that new dress, new CD player , new hair, new this and better that, I would be so ultimately happy that I would be at the peak of my life and everyone would love me and I’ll be in happilyeverafter world forever… NOT!

After I grew up, I found out that while the world loves looking and praising beautiful people, they also love hating and bringing beautiful people down. And beautiful people does not necessarily have happier lives.


Photo credit: http://skindeepnaturalbodycare.com/


I still am vain and I’m addicted to taking care of my skin but I have come to learn that beauty can and should mean more. Now I try to find a deeper purpose in life and in my own humble ways, try to bring a positive impact to wherever I go. To me, Beauty is a lot more than just a beautiful face.



13) Don't judge yourself so soon.

Nobody really wins until we end at the grave. We often get so caught up with comparing ourselves to others and we end up bashing and deflating our own pride because we feel that our accomplishments does not compare to others. However if there’s anything I learnt, and that’s nobody knows what will happen tomorrow. That awkward kid in your class might turn out to be the richest man when he grows up. That beautiful cheer leader might grow into an ugly duck while the ugly duckling in your class might blossom into a beautiful swan. While using outward appearance and financial status as an example is shallow, what I meant to say is, don’t be so quick to judge both yourself and others. The examination is from now till your death, your score comes only at deathbed.


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I’ve come to the end of my random list.  And I’ve gotta say, while searching for relevant photos to use in this blog entry, I came across of many really nice quotes that made me learn new things again.  Ah… life is all about experiencing and learning, isn’t it?

1 comment:

Jerry said...